Another Sunday Scribbling…..
Not long ago, my twenty-year old niece broke the news to her parents that she was pregnant and the baby was due in a month-and-a-half. She hid the pregnancy while living at home the entire time she was pregnant. Not only was my brother and sister-in-law going to be grandparents for the first time, the event was going to happen in barely enough time to process the news. And then there was the father of the child. Who was he? They didn’t know him. Never met him. Didn’t get to meet him until the night of the delivery. The only thing they knew about him was that he was black and had an arrest record.
Waiting for his grandchild to be born, my brother remarked that he never pictured becoming a grandparent under these circumstances. He felt betrayed and rejected by a daughter that was running wild and hostile. Instead of retiring next year, he would have a new baby in his house to support.Instead of proudly launching a daughter into adulthood, he faced a turbulent relationship that needed healing. His Plan A smashed to smithereens the moment his daughter shouted out “ You want to know what is wrong? Well, I’m pregnant.”.
Plan B isn’t for sissies. When Plan A miserably fails, Plan B challenges us to be resilient. A quote I recently came across says that “Every problem has a gift for you in its hands.” Plan B shows us the gifts.
Shaking off the surreal feeling my brother and his wife had when they suddenly became grandparents, they have found joy in their beautiful baby grandson, they have found that the baby’s father is actually
pretty nice, and they hold on to hope that their relationship with their daughter will soon begin the painful journey towards healing.
Barely two weeks after the birth of my niece’s baby, our daughter surprised and shocked us with the news that she too is pregnant. The father is a man we do know but have never liked. She used to live with him but
moved back home a couple of years ago. They maintained the status of “just friends” while moving on to date other people. Unlike my niece, our daughter has at least given us sufficient notice of her due date.
So suddenly our world feels like a Jerry Springer show even though we are educated professionals trying to live a relatively normal life.There’s only one thing we can do. Go to Plan B!